The Final Countdown

As I usher in the end of an era, I wipe a single tear from my misty eyes. While emptying out my desk, I reflect on my time at The Company and wonder, "How the hell will I ever stop laughing? My stomach is killing me."

Oh yes, such is the happiness that has infected me. I can feel the grin stretching my face and it's as if tiny little elves of joy have thrown grappling hooks into the sides of my cheeks and are currently making their way up my body, bringing laughter and good feeling to all parts.

I have approximately 3.5 days left at this asylum for the socially inept. And man is it gratifying to know that soon the dour and gloomy patrons of this soul destroying environment will be eating my dust. Feast on my contempt you monkeys.

The final chapter of my entire experience working here concludes with a bang as I recently discovered that approximately 6 (count 'em, six!) of my colleagues have also resigned. Granted, they work in a completely different section of the company, but still - SIX in one go. This place is obviously charming the socks off of everyone here.

So all that's left to do is to look forward to a more fulfilled and respectable future. One which doesn't include having grisly fantasies about the various ways to murder one's colleagues / bosses during a staff meeting.